Anesthesia

Numb I lay
Alone in an eternal fall
Into a never ending pit
A silent scream escapes my lips

My emotions amplified
In the hollow chamber of my mind
Succumbing to the echo
It feels so right

This is my off switch
Like a computer needs to restart
This reboot is my relief
Begging for a break from thinking

Vibrations gladly making me sore
As in this simpler state
I only experience the now
A slower frequency of life

I know this won’t last
I know this is fool’s gold
I know this is wrong
But it feels good not caring

Is my rebellion just self-expression?
Or the whims of a darker me
To indulge or to not
How can I really know?

Though I may not want to know
Ambiguity my security
And now the tingling ceasing
A tide is pulling me back

With waves crashing in
The deep numbness fades
Soon I lay still on a granular bed
Waiting for her to appear.